January Jibberish

-Ya’ll remember that Malaysian airline that went missing in 2014? Well my dad followed the story pretty closely when it was going on and he woud tell my little sister all about it. She was very young at the time and noticed how sad he was that the flight was still missing. She would ask him everyday if they found it and he would always sadly reply; no they haven’t. Then one day she drew a plane that said Malaysia on it and woke my dad up and said, “Baba good news! I found the Malaysian plane!”

-That story makes me smile till this day. Hopefully it made you smile too. And if didn’t, then you is a miserable sod – what can I say?

-I am dreading work on Monday having been off for 2 weeks. You get so comfortable when you’re not working. Sigh. When’s my knight in shining armour gonna get off his ass and come buy me out of a job save me?

-If I get married that’s the first thing Ima ask the bugger you know. Like bro where the f you been? Some time keeping this is.

-I have noticed a growing trend around me lately. Arab bashing. It’s interesting how many people hate on Arabs these days thinking their own race is free of fault. I got sucked into it briefly when someone asked me if I would marry an Arab and I said no. My personal preference being Asian guys (God knows why, coz man are they a pain in my ass.)

Sure, some Arabs are proud and obnoxious, but loads are kind and Arab hospitality is next to none. Genetically, I am more Indian than Arab. Nevertheless, I identify with both cultures especially that I flopped on the Hindi count and my mother tongue is in fact Arabic. That being said my friends are always telling me I am the desi’est Arab they know. Brap.

The point is. All races have their own mess ups. Arabs are supposedly obnoxious. Brits are supposedly cold but punctual. The French are supposedly rude. Turks are supposedly arrogant. Somalis are supposedly abrupt. Indians are supposedly stingy. Pakistanis are… ahem. Lowe it innit, bare Pakistanis read my blog and know where I live. I don’t want the hate mail lol.

Stop race hating. Makes you a prick. Look at your own tribe before cussing the neighbours. Nuff said.

-My friends have been trynna convince me to join muzmatch forever and I think I am finally tempted. Only problem being is I am a conversation junkie. I will get sucked into conversation and essentially forget the reason I am on there in the 1st place; matrimony. Lool!

-I can already see it:

Thirty-one year, opposite of a fair and lovely advert, cannot reach the top shelf of a super market, not so domestic goddess – but hella kind and forever turning a new page with God seeks…

…tall (if you make me fall for you I can let go of this one but then we both won’t reach the top shelf of the supermarket)…

…dark haired and stubbled (this is a must, if my beard is bigger than yours we have problems) fella who wakes me up for fajr not coz its romantic but because my alarm is fed up of me and the adhan clock is actually telling me ki bhai you is going to hell anyway so jao.

…with a steady income coz this ain’t no fairy tale and love ain’t putting the barfi on the table ygm? I am willing to work part time and not ask for money for me, just fund the house and kids for the love of God #reasonable

…with a sense of humour because you need one to live with me, just trust me on this one.

…and an open enough mind to know that I ain’t living with your Ammi cuz. It ain’t happening. I will probably spike her water with laxatives whenever she pisses me off, you feel me bruv? Repeat after me; distance is healthy.

and must drive coz… man’s tired wallah.

Bonus points; speaks another language and is good at maths (don’t even ask, the heart wants what it wants innit)

I mean. The personal ad writes its self, no?



  1. arrey nahin nahin bolain na Pakistanis are? XD Ahahaaha I wanted to read something after it! You should have written something.
    I am surrounded by Arabs. One of the most beautiful hearted people I have ever know. Alhamdulillah this winter break I went for Umrah and one of the prayers I made was May Allah SWT let me be surrounded by such people always. ❤ (P.S prayed for you also 😀 I thought I should say it, maybe it will make you smile. 🙂 )

    1. Arrey kuch nahi baba don’t get me into trouble now 🤣 bless you thanks for making duaa for yours truly. I am humbled 😭 and frankly in desperate need of saving. Times are hard and I am all but drowning. Sigh.

  2. I’d go with ’31 yo with a heart of gold albeit a questionable sense of humor. Also can go on any rides so as long as there is a designated driver. This 31 yo also comes with a shadow’

    1. My sense of humour is bomb dot com Idk what you mean. Spot on with the designated driver tho! Someone take me on a long drive please. Lol I like the Shadow ending. Clever. Might use that.

  3. Am i stalking your blog – pls don’t block me i do it out of pyar
    You’re my lovely, cat loving yar
    Twinkle twinkle little star
    I’d take u but ur too far

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