1. Don’t worry, I’m sure there is a cure – I’ve spent years trying not to worry and have finally semi succeeded to do so, but now you’re evoking those emotions in me again by a well intended comment that has backfired spectacularly. Research shows there are no cures so far and I spent years training myself to accept that. Don’t give me false hope by acting like you are some kind of agent of a secret Aspergers society I didn’t know existed.
2. Why isn’t -your autistic relative- in a “special” school? Wouldn’t it be better for them to be with their own kind? – No, some autistic people do fine in mainstream establishments. Fret not, they don’t contaminate the pool of “normality” at the school. Your children are safe from ours. Autism is not contagious.
3. So are they really good at maths? – No, Einstein, it doesn’t always work that way. Some of them have exceptional talents some of them don’t. Not unlike you and I believe it or not.
4. They don’t even come across as autistic, honestly if you hadn’t told me I would never have guessed – If you tell me this to reassure me- stop. This is not a compliment, contrary to what you think, my heart doesn’t jump for joy upon hearing these words. Not only are you being ignorant, you are indirectly implying that being “overly” autistic is somehow a negative thing.
5. Advice – Please stop. Questions, annoying though they sometimes are (see points 2 & 3), will always be better recieved than advice. Unless you have something practical to share because you are a) a professional in this field or b) have hands on experience with autism, don’t tell us jack. Too many cooks- seriously. Autism is an already crowded kitchen, there is just no room for your “advice” which when you come to think of it, is actually nothing more than your unwarranted opinion.
This rant was sponsored by 15 years of patience when faced with ignorance.
Questions, annoying as they may be, will always be better recieved than free commentary and advice. So please- ask me don’t tell me.
Disclaimer: all opinions expressed are my own and are (please!) not to be generalised onto the rest of the “carer of someone with autism” population for the greater good of mankind. Terms and conditions apply, batteries sold seperately. Thank you.