…learnt by yours truly. In no particular order. And 29.5 because who knows if they will be alive at 30.
1. People will think what they want to think. You can explain your point of view until you are blue in the face and they will even nod and “hmm” and “aah” but if they have already decided what they believe, you have a snowball’s chance in hell of changing that.
2. Chai (preferably made by my Baba- God bless him) can vastly improve even the worst of my moods. Especially when consumed in bed.
3. The opposite sex only holds as much control over you as you allow them to excercise. The guy with the hero complex only thinks he can save you because you sent out damsel in distress signals. It’s not a bad thing. Just know that you are in charge of distributing the bullets responsible for your demise. Hand them out sparingly.
4. Being good is hard but will benefit you when you are 6 feet under. Hang in there.
5. A stranger is sometimes the best person to talk to.
6. Being kind is everything. Being kind will act as a light for you on a day where darkness will engulf your surroundings and it will feel like you are completely blind.
7. The only person that will love you regardless of what a wasteman you turned out to be is your mother. God bless mine, I am her proudest disappointment.
8. Even if you do what you love, it will still sometimes feel like work because Monday.
9. I finally understand why animals are more loved than humans. Humans were born to betray whereas most animals show you undying loyalty. Except reptiles; they’re evil.
10. Love is nice but without respect and trust it may as well be a collection of overactive and worthless hormones occupying crucial space in your mind.
11. Your health is actually important and is one of those things you should never take for granted.
12. Being lonely is a thing. You are not immune to it because you like being alone. God did not equip us with the skills to survive being completely alone. Let a few people in. It’s okay. I promise.
13. Not everyone you want to be in your life will want to be there. You can chain them to you and entice them to stay for a bit but if they are not meant to be there, no force on this earth will keep them there.
14. Give, give, give. Give your time. Give your money. Give your shoulder. Give your listening ear. And when you need it, don’t begrudge yourself from taking. Just know who to take from.
15. You have to be good with money. Financial stability is not something to be taken lightly. “Money doesn’t buy you happiness,” is fluff.
16. Time doesn’t heal at all. It just teaches you to survive anyway.
17. The Casanova that listened to his mother and left you because you were “ugly” and was with you “despite” the fact that you were too dark and therefore unattractive? You may have lost him but you gained perspective. Also, he’s bald now, whereas your hair game is hella strong mashallah.
18. Life is kinder to attractive people. It won’t be you that changes that ridiculous notion so just bite your tongue and iron your bloody scarf once in a while.
19. Take the photo, Tam. So someone tells you off. Big deal. Your mother always does this and you have vast experience in dealing with rejection thanks to various members of the opposite sex. Take the bloody photo.
20. If you treat people like celebrities, they will treat you like a fan. Don’t fangirl. No one is that great. No one.
21. Not everyone will like you. Even if you are nice to them. They will find something irritating about you and make it the foundation for eternal hate. Sod it.
22. You have a way with words but all you see is your fear of driving. You take an okay photo but all you focus on is how useless you are in the kitchen, you taught yourself TWO languages with 0 help from anyone but your social anxiety still weighs you down. Why?
23. People that offer to drive are good people, keep those around.
24. Tastes like acid in my mouth to admit this but… marriage isn’t all bad *chokes*
25. He has to speak English. But it helps his case majorly if he speaks another language as well. Like big time. Like help me Lord.
26. You won’t always like the same people. You will like people now that you could not stand last year. And you’ll dislike people now that you were besotted with just a few months ago. Accept it.
27. Decluttering is the one coping mechanism that actually works but no one reps? Get rid of everything. Don’t hoard letters from 1997, be sentimental in your heart.
28. Knowing a list of facts about someone doesn’t mean you know them. It’s the things you figure out about them without being told that counts, for the record.
29. There is such a thing as being too honest.
30. It’s okay that the most peaceful you feel right now is sitting in your car alone (with food, always) listening to soppy songs and staring at the epic view you parked in front of whilst texting someone you shouldn’t even be talking to. For now.