My gift to you this Eid; Eleventy Billion Questions Answered

​1. How Tall Do You Want Your Mate To Be? Tall. For the billionth time. Tall. I like tall men.

2. If You Could Live Anyone Else’s Life, Who Would It Be And Why? J.K Rowling or Steve McCurry. I think their work is pretty epic. Also, they have more money than me.

3. How Often Do You Really “Go Out”? Rarely. Like once every 3 weeks, if that.

4. How Is The Weather Right Now? Hot as balls. I want winter back.

5. If The Whole World Were Listening Right Now, What Would You Say To Them? Be kind to everyone; even if you hate someone, hate them in private.

6. How’s Your Heart Lately? Oh shite, for sure.

7. If I Get Sick, Which First Thing You Will Do For Me? Hugs. Unless you’re full of germs. Then a care package that I will push towards you with a long stick. I have an awful immune system.

8. If You Could Spend A Saturday Reading A Book Or Playing A Sport, Which Would You Pick And Why? Reading because I am allergic to any form of movement.

9. If You Had To Choose Between Money, Fame And Freedom; What Would You Choose And Why? Freedom obviously. What do you mean why?

10. If You Could Be A Crayon, What Color Crayon Would You Choose To Be And Why? The white one to be awkward. Also, it’s the most useless one which is a reflection of me accoring to my Ma.

11. How Much Money Do You Need To Be Happy? More than what I got now. اللهم ارزقنا من حيث لا نحتسب امين

12. If Money Were Not An Object, What Would You Do With Your Life? Quit work, travel the world and document it.

13. If You Are An Author, What Book Would You Write? Crime?

14. How Important Is Money To You? Very. Because I am a realist and not a candy floss persona living in a poem called “money is not important.”

15. How Many Car Accidents Have You Been In? How Many Were Your Fault? Erm, two. One was not my fault and one kind of was. It wasn’t even an accident I just scratched his very white, very shiny, very new car.

16. If You Could Retire Tomorrow What Would You Do? Grow.

17. How Many Keys On Your Key Ring? Just two. Soon to change inshallah. Who knows?

18. If You Could Have Lunch With Any Three People, Which 3 Would You Choose And Why? Actually two of them would be people that I speak to on blog refularly for sure (mentioning no names ahem!) and collectively we would decide / argue on who the third person should be.

19. If You Could Have A £10,000 Shopping Spree To One Store, Which Store Would It Be? Is it bad that I wanna say Tesco? It has everything.

20. How Many Rings Before You Answer The Phone? So many man. I have to do a risk assessment of how important it is to pick up that call before I do it.

21. How Many Pillows Do You Sleep With? How is this even a question? Smh. Two, I only sleep on one though. The other one lies vertically beside me. No purpose at all. I just need it there to lean against. Is that weird?

22. Who Got The Looks / Brains In Your Family? My siblings got the looks and I got the brains, all 2 cells of them. That’s not me being modest either. Anyone who’s seen my brother comments on how good looking he is. Mashallah. Prick though.

23. If You Could Change One Event In History What Would It Be? I feel like the War on Iraq was the begining of doom for the Arab world so maybe stop that.

24. If A Relative Died And Left You A Million Dollars, What Would You Do With The Money? Convert it to Pounds and Pay off debts.

25. How Many Bedrooms And Bathrooms In Your House? Does this question know that houses in England are essentially sardine tins?

26. If You Could Live Any Time In The Past, Present Or Future, When Would You Live? Why? The past fascinates me. I can never look at an old person or building without wondering what they / it used to look like back in the day. I’d go back to the 70’s. Parent’s era to see wassup.

27. How Religious Are You? Do You Pray Regularly? Not very. And daily yes. Fajr is an issue. Make duaa for mans please.

28. How Would You Like To Be Remembered? As someone who was kind and really did try despite popular opinion.

29. If You Could Go On A Vacation Anywhere In The World Where Would It Be? What Stops You? How many times man? India. No one wants to come with. Mum says I’ll get raped on a bus if I go alone.

30. If You Are A Man, And A Woman Asks You For A Date, Do You Feel You Should Pay, Or That The Woman Should Pay? I’m one of those old fashioned folk that thinks men should always pay. Sue me. Then again I don’t actually let guys pay for anything. I don’t even let guys buy me gifts as a general rule. I resist hard.

31. How Far Are You Comfortable Going Before Marriage? Astagz ya’ll.

32. If You Could Change One Thing About Your Physical Appearance What Would It Be And Why? Either taller or thinner. I’m so original mashallah.

33. If You Had To Change Your Name, What Would You Change It To? Layla, Ruqaya, Leah anything that isn’t my name.

34. How Do You Relieve Stress? So many ways. Comfort food, good books and bad tv. Conversation with someone spesh. Or sitting alone in my room.

35. How Old Are You? I’m actually 29. Though I’m already telling people I’m 30. So when I turn 30 people will potentially think I’m 31. Bants.

36. If You Could Write A Book About Anything, What Would It Be? I wrote it. It was about an arranged marriage. A topic I know naff all about.

37. How Should Your Partner Show They Love You? Tell me shit I wanna hear. It’s legit that simple. Don’t buy me shit just hold me and get me food, man.

38. How Far Away From Your Birthplace Do You Live Now? So far. Sigh. May Allah s.w.t. end the war in Yemen and everywhere else soon inshallah.

39. If You Had To Rank How Attractive You Are On 1 To 10 How Would You Rank Yourself? Attractive? Like a 2. Cute? Like 11+

40. How Would You React If Your Partner Had A More Serious Intimate Relationship In The Past? I mean I wouldn’t love it. I’m crazy jealous and possessive to be honest. What’s mine is mine. But I would act cool and nonchalant.

41. How Do You Spend Your Free Time? Not including being in bed? Editing photos and videos coz man’s sad.

42. How Would Your Friends Describe You? Either too negative or too caring.

43. If You Could Hire Any Actor To Portray You In A Movie, Who Would You Chose? Parminder Nagra. Nuff people tell me we look alike. And if you know what I look like you’ll agree with me that we don’t. 

44. How Well Do You Know Your Cousins? Really well I feel. I’m the eldest of 40 mashallah so I’m the glue that holds them all together. Not.

45. Hugs Or Kisses? I’ll take anything right about now you know. Jokes. Hugs. I think. I dunno.

46. How’s Your Life Lately? Dull but you know, peaceful at least Alhamdulilah.

47. The Nicest Thing Someone Has Done For You In The Last Year? Couple of things come to mind, actually. I made the mistake of mentioning to someone I was on the phone with that I was hungry once and they were adamant on ordering me food to be delivered to my place. They don’t even live in this country fgs. And someone once sent me a photo of chaiwaala (whom I’m slightly obsessed with) to cheer me up, despite them HATING chaiwaala. Bless.

49. Who Do You Miss Right Now? Ah, the irony of finally having an answer to this question is not lost on me. What… I miss right now is Autumn.

50. What Did You Name Your First Pet? Well, they were a pair of budgies that I called Aman & Naina coz man’s filmy like that. 

51. Your First Response To “I Love You”? The first time someone told me that I legit responded with, “I know you do.” My track record of responses to that phrase hasn’t improved throughout the years I’m afraid.

52. How Are You Feeling Right Now?  Well, I’ve got a sore throat so not great. This is like the 5th time this year that my throat’s given me ish. 

53. Do you have a friend from the opposite gender you can tell anything to? Pass. Pass. Pass.

54. Does anyone have feelings for you right now? No.

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