…is the name of a film I saw like an hour ago, but more on that later.
-I finally washed my car for those of you who are interested. I said I’d do it two weeks ago. And now 14 days later; voila.
-Cat hair is a thing you know. I thought it was a rumour. But nope. I’ll be sitting at Costa minding my own, when I’ll suddenly notice Shadow’s hair all over me. I shall enclose a photo of Shadow who I am told I can’t talk about unless I attach a photo to go with said talk. Cue Mashallahs please because my cat is buff.
-Speaking of. I must be the only person in England that still says buff.
-Also, bro is still insistent on changing Shadow’s name. To Coco this time. I mean…
-I’ve had a mentally draining couple of days, I’m not gonna lie. And I know I’m always mentally drained but. Yeah. This cough don’t help either.
-I’m worried I will have a panic attack before I go into work tomorrow. It’s my first day back after 2 weeks. This is actually a genuine fear. Google anxiety before you mock my pain inneh. Then of course there’s annoyance at myself that a panic attack is even a possibility. Ugh.
-You know what the worse thing is about that? Not one person I could call for a calm me down. Everyone’s either asleep or at work themselves at 8am.
-Not that I would call, call. Because I can’t talk on the phone. Too awkward. I am way better on text.
-I need petrol. Like now. The road to the nearest petrol station is blocked so I gotta drive to find another one… on essentially, a near empty tank. Don’t lecture me just come get petrol for me plsh.
-I live for reliable people, me. People who have your back. Rare breed. Keep those people around, trust me. You meet less of them the older you get not more.
-So I went to the cinema earlier to watch a film called Finding Fatima. I was drawn by the ethnic name and the fact that it was about a 30 year old woman who can’t find a husband. Because hello. Not that I am looking.
-The trailer made me laugh a bit. Okay the trailer made me laugh a lot. Ahem. So when I found out it was playing in tam town. I had to go.
-There’s some similarities between Fatima and I. She’s pissed at life, has anger issues, a decent sense of humour and always picking the wrong son of a bitch. Note; this post will contain some swearing.
–That’s where similaties end though. She’s Pakistani, buff, trendy and a doctor. A catch one would say. But can’t find a husband. Go figure.
-Anyway, I get to the cinema and three… people *don’t call them names, don’t call them names* took our seats. Like. Why? It’s designated seating. Sit in your own effing seat. The seat you CHOSE. My friend nudges me forward and tells me not to say anything and just sit anywhere. I do.
-Throught the film, Maharani Rani next to me, the one who stole my seat, thinks her LOUD commentary is hilarious and necessary. She goes, “at least Shahid (the guy in the film) is not Indian, Pakis and Indians are a big no, no.”
-I’m annoyed at this point. Like beyond. It was such an ignorant thing to say. If this girl wasn’t Asian she would have been blonde. Which is also an offensive thing to say but yano, warranted. I beg my friend to let me tell her my “husband” is Pakistani and I am Indian, very happily married with two children. I even had a name and a profession for this imaginary husband. My friends warning glares talked me out of it though.
-The actual film, in case you are wondering was a bit dry and not very well executed but because I could relate to the character I liked it anyway.
-Sidenote though, Shahid, guy in the film was panicking about turning 30 and not being married. Like please. That’s not realisitic. I think I speak for most Asian guys when I say, Asian guys don’t panic about not being married at 30.