If my life were a sitcom

These would be the episodes for season 1;

-The one where my cat sleeps in 2 minutes flat when I sing this to it. I am not joking.

-The one where I tried to explain to my dad that in order to SEND an email, he has to HAVE one in the first place.

-The one where I am dreading a void that hasn’t even taken place yet. But it’ll be fine.

-The one where denial is a God send.

-The one where I am really dreading my mood swings in Ramadan.

-The one where I am ashamed that everyone and their mother feels at peace in Ramadan but I feel dizzy and angry and so, so tired.

-The one where I am kind of hating on my family right now who are out eating ice cream and I am home alone. By choice to be fair.

-The one where I am waiting for the day my mother approves of something I do.

-The one where I sustained more injuries washing my cat than when I fell down the stairs once.

-The one where the one thing I am looking forward to about living alone is  decorating and… you know, blowing some steam.

-The one where I already miss December.

-The one where my productivity game is weak as hell right now.

-The one where I haven’t been inspired enough to take a great photo lately so I made do with some cherryblossoms I found yesterday.

-The one where I was in a very crowded place (9000 people) and a couple were trying to hold hands so that she didn’t get lost. Naturally, I did the nice thing and came in between them so they had to walk seperately.

-The one where the search for decent red velvet cake continues.

-The one where my colleague told me to ask for Halal cat food at Tesco because it was definitely a thing just to embarass me. Cowbag.

-The one where this vampire is starting to warm up to a bit of sunlight. 

-The one where I think a college reunion would be really nice. A sencondary school one would be AWFUL.

-The one where holier than thou people will continue to be the bane of my life.

-The one where I forgot what year we were in the other day. 

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30 comments

  1. Lets do this – Again! (all in order – some I will be skipping for sure)

    – That’s a magical power to make cats sleep by singing – don’t you think? I mean if my cat (I don’t actually own a cat 😦 ) is being notorious you can render your services and making it sleep =D

    – My dad actually helped me make my first email, almost assisted I was the one making but still he helped so πŸ˜€

    – ‘Denial is a God send’ … hmm I’m sorry, you don’t have to be accepted to know your worth – believe me.

    – Ramadan is the best time of the year so no comments … it can be tough for some to fast no doubt and we will not judge you for that.

    – Ice cream (Yay) … oh you didn’t go – nvm.

    – ‘Approval from mother’, I can relate to it – you do need to read my latest episode of ‘my Dad and I’

    – You are not friendly enough with your cat (I will never blame the cat for anything – she/he is lovely, beautiful and amazing)

    – December ??? – no comments – I have no idea why.

    – 9000 people – was it a protest? or some sports event? – That was evil what you did and no we would not do that naturally, there should be a super sinister mind that we should have in order to do that haha =D

    – Your acquaintances are funny (don’t kill me for saying that)

    – ‘bane of my life’ – that is the same for almost everyone who cares about being good at their religion, it doesn’t work for those who don’t give a damn about it – so we’re on the winning side. Don’t worry πŸ™‚

    – ‘forgetting the year’ – its okay to be in that state once in a while.

    (I will be very thankful (not that I want to) if someone accuses me of being flirty here – seriously)

  2. -I struggle with Ramadan..I just feel angry and tired all the time. It’s not the hunger that does me in. It’s I dunno…

    -What do you mean? I love my cat. I didn’t go for ice cream to STAY with my cat.

    -Again what do you mean? December is the one. You’re one of those people who love summer and hate winter aren’t you? Tsk.

    -It was a show. Why was it evil? I would have thought Mr Halal would approve that I split them up. I was helping her out. She needs to look after herself. She’ll thank me when he dumps her tomorrow.

    -Nah, I hate pranks. How you gonna send me to Tesco to ask for Halal cat food? Not cool.

    -I just can’t deal with people who are trying to “fix” your Islam all the time. I know advising fellow muslims is the idea and what not. But I feel people judge you because you sin differently to them. It winds me up. Such people are the reason I drifted away from the deen briefly a while ago. Live and let live I say.

    1. – I never made that connection of cat and ice cream – no way really? Ok you are in my like zone because of that single act of staying with your cat at home (there I said it).

      – I am okay with summers but I just am not easy in Winters – it just goes through me type of feeling kills me – the cold I mean.

      – Oh lol I didn’t know they were ‘NOT’ supposed to be together. You would have joined my hate list for separating a halal couple πŸ˜…. You’re certainly not an optimist but a realist

    2. Ps; i wasn’t finished wordpress after registering my finger on the send button.

      -… Realist is always better.

      – Did you actually go do that? No way. I mean I think you’re old enough to know there’s no such thing as halal cat food. (Sorry Bilal for getting yourself killed by a cat lover – it’s not cool)

      – But some people think it’s their duty to that and we really can’t do anything about them … Notice the ‘Mr Halal’ comment above (ahem).

      Glad that you are back if you are back though.

      1. -Yeah it took a while for me to come back. Thing about people who go overboard advising you about Islam (are you taking notes?) is they make you think; forget it then, seems I am doing everything wrong. If I am going to hell anyway, let’s do it thoroughly. We need less judgement in the world. We’re all trying our best.

        -No I didn’t ask for the bloody cat food. I am not that crazy. She says.

        -See I’m a cold person. Not to sound like Elsa but the cold never bothered me anyway. That’s a film reference Mr Halal. I’m guessing you’ve watched some of those in your time.

        -I’ve made it to Bilal’s like zone? Population: 3.5 humans. I mean, I may as well just retire now.

      2. – Yeah I am kinda taking notes in my head. Yes that happens a lot and I sometimes cry about it a lot because people just make you think like all the prayers and whole of the efforts are completely useless, and you are totally leading towards hell-fire.

        (elaborating on this part)

        Like I’m sure that you must have heard the billions of stories of two humans who once lived. One was super pious (like did everything – spend his whole life doing the right thing) and other was like super opposite of that (did whatever he wanted to do). The former one does one mistake, which makes him go to hellfire and the latter did one good thing, which makes him go to paradise.

        And believe me – I have been chastised by such stories so many times in my life by anyone who sees my face and is like oh wow I have definitely found that person who I can relate to that pious person in story so lets destroy his confidence in himself and tell him that all of this useless – Thank you for doing that.

        Seriously sometimes I am like maybe everything is worthless and all my worship, piety whatever is just going to be destroyed because of one act that I do wrong (I do billions of wrong stuff every single day) and it is quite depressive to think that all your struggle and efforts are just going to get you to nowhere.

        Its sad, really sad and its okay to cry over it too but you might ask how I get over it? Its simple just tell your inner gut that my actions are never going to get me to paradise rather my Allah will and He wants me to live like this and if he so does will to make me enter hellfire then so be it – because I can’t do anything anyway.

        But some uncle or auntie is going to come again and tell you another similar story and you’ll be back to crying – think about leaving everything good – then get back and start doing what you were doing once again – not leaving a single prayer or your routine – just being awesome as you are.

        I will leave you with another story (lol – but its worth it really – you’ll feel a lot of joy at its end I hope)

        The story is of a very famous scholar of Islam – It is someone from Deoband but I’m not sure of the name (I think it was Rasheed Ahmad Gangohi but I’m not sure).

        Once his students came up to him and they were like why is that you are so pious, a brilliant scholar and a wali of Islam undoubtedly but we have never seen any miracle to come out of you (that one act that takes you above all) – how would you answer that?

        He replied that you have been with me for so many years and yes it’s true that I have never done that one act of miracle (which is normally regarded as a show of wilaya or supreme scholarship in deen) but let me ask you one question, have you ever seen any of my act to go against the Book of Allah or the Sunnah of the Prophet in my daily life?

        They were like we have never seen you go against any of it.

        He was like, yes that is the True Wilaya and Karamat (Miracle) that is the biggest gift from Allah.

        It is the repeated nature of actions on a daily basis that is the sign of Wilaya and not that one moment or action that some people wait for that will be accepted by Allah. Allah loves those actions which are repeated even if small but repeatedly done throughout the life.

        Miracle is not to do that one act of worship or service of some human or respecting something in deen but it is that life that you spend majorly obeying Allah and asking for repentance whenever you go wrong. Miracle is to have a life in which you prayed for straight 40 – 50 years and yes there were some qadha in them but you did pray them with conviction even if not completely perfect. Miracle is not to do that one act and think that you will succeed those who have spent their 40 – 50 years in service of Allah.

        Miracle is to do hijab for 40 – 50 years and not to do a single act once in life that was a show was modesty even if in those years there were bad days – oops moments – but you repented for it and Allah will forgive you for you have a life to present. Believe me I am not writing this for you but for myself – I needed this, Allah is not unjust and He does not let any effort towards Him go to waste.

        – Oh lol okay.

        – I haven’t watched that lol to know that dialogue but I do know that Elsa is a Disney movie character.

        – There are many people in that zone tbh. One of my best friend has two brilliantly fluffy adorable cats named Taffy and Mr. Browns – I love him and his cats even though he makes me envious by posting his cats’ pics on instagram on a daily basis.

        (I should stop now lol)

      3. Interesting. Bilal is swayed by cat photos. I’m saving that one for a rainy day. I am yet to flood my insta with my cat’s photos. It’s an important decision. I need to go for the perfect shot.

      4. Did I tell you I don’t like people liking my comments either – especially the long ones. Its like okay this person likes my comment – are you a bot to just like comments and not be human enough to reply.

        Yes I love cats and my mum is scared, and she doesn’t let me own one so yes I’m envious of anyone who has a cat that includes everyone who has ANY cat except for Siamese (I don’t find them pretty enough lol – sorry for being racist).

        – Do upload them here too – I would love to see your cat posing (ahem – stop Bilal! )

      5. I uploaded one on here. None on insta… yet. I was scared until last week. And yes Bilal, you hate likes I know. As do I. However. The people like to like. What can we do.

      6. Thank you for giving me the perfect opportunity to ‘like’ a comment.

        I laughed so bad when I did that – thank you again I needed to laugh. πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜

      7. You’ll take revenge from my poor soul now? It has come to this. πŸ˜₯

        Haha you have my permission to do that πŸ˜‚, dw I’ll never mind.

  3. rofl to the third one ! Remember such a conversation with my Dad too, although I created one for him , he gave up on it later, He is more happy using whatsapp now , sometimes he enquires about making an account on Facebook and we have to take an hour to convince him it is too complicated πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ My mother never wants to use a smartphone so she sticks to her old phone.

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