+3 because that really is how much I hate dieting!
- Why do people say this should be a “life style change as opposed to a diet.” Calling it this does not make the torture ride any easier for me. I do not want to live like this. I want to eat for enjoyment not just sustenance.
- Proteins are going to be the end of me. If I have to eat one more protein I might hurt someone. Serving sizes for carbs are going to be the end of me part 2.
- I am so sad right now. I miss the affection I got from food. Why does no one love me? Not even food can cheer me up now, oh the irony.
- Wait, fruit has too much sugar now? Because back in the day, they told us to eat as much as we wanted, but now you’re telling me the sugar in it is bad for me…. put down the smoothie you say? Unless I put something green in it? I’ll put down the smoothie.
- Why, God, why! Why won’t this number budge on the scale. I don’t care about inches and metabolism and muscle. My simple brain wants to see the digits get smaller, dammit. -Proceeds to purchase replacement scales-
- The “stop it you’re becoming anorexic” comments are about as helpful as the “wow you’re so good, I don’t know how you do it!” comments- neither are making that number budge. I therefore urge you to walk away before I dip you in (protein) nutella & eat you.
- How is it that everyone has deluded themselves into believing that almond butter and other health foods are ACTUALLY tasty. Did I miss the “let’s fake it!” memo?
- Almond milk. How did that almond get milked & why isn’t it suing for harassment, huh? Answer me! In fact, the whole evolution of milk! Blue lid to green to red to almond to coconut. Watch this space for; ladybird milk please.